honeymoon with a side of stomach flu please

being married means you are poor. even when you're husband is almost 30. so if you were wondering... we did NOT go to costa rica or hawaii or peru or london for our honeymoon. instead we stayed local that was within our budget that means we were headed to Moab! if you don't know what Moab is all about just look at a Utah license plate. Moab is COVERED with arches and Bad A hardcore peeps that mountain bike all day long, kayak for 30 hours, and climb rocks with no cracks in it and sleep in hostiles.

 oh and don't forget those retired folks that like earthy rocks and can afford living in 115 degree weather all year long. so why did we go there? if you don't know, Long isn't the most cardio active kind of guy but I sure am. I may not look like it... but when you break it down.. lets just say i can bench press long with one hand. i'm legit. so when he asked where we should go for a honeymoon within our $200 budget i just said... anything that can make me work. and BOYYYYY did he take that literal.

two weeks living in provo we planned and were ready to go off and take our "magical" honeymoon. well... the night before i decided to make some delish tortilla soup for our neighbors and us for dinner. that night... WOAH. moaning and groaning from both of us. food poison? it can't be. Long yelled at me in his sleep (no surprise)  but even I was wimping.. and at that moment i KNEW


I WAS PREGGOOOOOOOOO

i turned to long and said.. boy it's ON! im totally having your child...

and right then i heard the best news EVER

he was sick too!! :) so no babies for us... at least for now thank goodness.

and so... after paying for 2 hotels and an awesome kayak ride we PULLED ourselves out of bed and sucked it up. i showered.... and moments later i was back in bed with a temp of at least 102 degrees. Long was kind enough to pack the cooler with his specialty BBQ chicken. after sleeping for 2 more hours and falling at least 5 hours behind scheduled i packed quickly and saw long ready to go eating some spaghetti... CLEARLY he wasn't as sick as i was. before you know it... we were on our way with a pack of Tylenol.

due to my sickness, i dared myself to let long drive. i love long. but i am deathly afraid when he's the driver. i learn a LOT of patience when he drives. i guess its good for both of us. here we were the two of us trying to stay positive and then

a coppy cop decides to pull from the lane from on coming traffic to turn its little wheels and race down longie.

and so trying the whole 3 hours not to barf, we got a nice break to receive a speeding ticket. Long was disappointed he didn't TRY to talk himself out of it.. but i knew it was best.

finally we had made it..

the Tylenol doesn't last more than 4 hours so once again i was laying in bed helpless. i went and took a bath to warm up and came out to see long passed out. with another fever i shook up long to keep me company. we turned on a scary movie and passed out.. i vaguely remembered getting irritated with long opening the cooler as he debated whether he should eat the chicken he made. i just didn't wanna smell that chicken for as long as i lived.

next morning? he took me to dead horse point next to blue john canyon where aaron ralston cut his very own arm after being stuck for 127 hours.

he kinda looked like this

i was nervous to see the trail but thankfully it was paved with children running. i figured if babies could do it.. so could i. YAH RIGHT. i prob complained about how my intestines were going to fall out of my butt and mouth the whole time. but the patient man Long is just held my arm and encouraged me to keep going. it was worth it in all

by 4 o' clock with no food in my system for 48 hours i finally had an urge to eat.. and that urge was DEF not that BBQ chicken Long made. we went out to eat at a diner.

next was our hike to delicate arch. i figured with rest, food, and a nice drive around the town, i was ready.
the drive was absolutely amazing seeing rock after rock. red rocks to be exact.

we got our destination and were ready to hike! Long said not to worry there was only a small part i should be prepared for. however he just so happened to forget that this hike was listed as a STRENUOUS HIKE. so i climbed and climbed (running past long because im hardcore like that)  and i finally made it to the top!

after one pic... i was hunched over about to poop my pants. it was on... i freakin ran for my life to the bottom to make it. i mean come on!! this is a NATIONAL PARK! i am NOT going to release my energy behind an arch. esp when there are asian tour groups from every angle around the arch.

luckily i made it. and was happy to be back in our hotel for the night.

the next morning we had no time to waste. long had planned a kayak trip. well.. i guess in moab kayaking is just NOT the thing to do.. river rafting is. however longie is afraid of rafting from the pics he has seen and plus he figured after canoeing in a lake kayaking would be E-Z! so we met up with our tour guide and the other couple from london who signed up to go with us. so knowing that not too many peeps like to kayak our tour guide asked for SPECIAL permission to take us our longer. hmmm? no bathroom for more than the scheduled time of 9am-12pm? oh shoot!! i hope this is going to work.. we were ready and crossing our fingers my stomach behaved. long jumped in ready to kayak his little heart away... being a pro at kayaking since he's done it in a lake.... quickly realized it wasn't as E-Z as he thought. He was floating down the river backwards within the first 3 seconds we got in the water. me being a PRO after living in hawaii raced right around him. i guess Long wasn't too happy i didn't help but thankfully the tour guide pulled long out of the side of the bushes and got him going again.

with a few races here and there (which i totally won every time)

and after 18 miles and 4.5 hours of kayaking we were FINALLY DONE!!! but we couldn't leave moab without hiking more arches.. so before we left we ate an expensive salad slept in the grass and we were off again for the last time. thankfully those hikes were baby and my stomach was cooperating.

by 8pm we were ready to go back to our home in provo. but it wasn't that simple.
there just HAD to be thunder, fog, rain, construction, and blinding lights.
i took the challenge to drive home in our awesome car

and 4 hours later after driving 30mph for most of the ride, we were home.

 i not only WORKED to keep my insides INSIDE, but i BEASTED an 18 mile kayak ride and a strenuous hike.

and THAT is how i did NOT poop behind an arch or in my Kayak :)