i'm a piggy and a beast

on the 24th day of september @10am

 i joined a few friends to attend a DIRRTY DASH
duck dong bailed because he's asian and doesn't like dirt
(although he doesn't mind not showering everyday...) i don't get it either
anyway
i was a lonesome matron getting ready to get down and dirty in a 6 mile muddy dashh
the info emails kept freakin me out like

"DON'T WEAR SHOES YOU CARE ABOUT.... THEY WILLL BEE RUINED FOREVVVAAA"

and i wasn't about to waste my top quality running shoes for a dash
if you know what i mean

so i asked duck dong if i could borrow some over sized shoes he doesn't wear anymore

so the shoes were a lil tight but i was ready to go.

i get out of the car and look out.

there are peeps running

i yell out

"THIS IS A RUUUNNNN???????"
ummm since when is
dash=run
?

yah, well there i was with concubine shoes on my feet ready to run a freaking 10k
don't know what a concubine shoe looks like??
think of this

plan of action?
luckily there were scissors
so i cut the tips of those mugs so my piggy toes could breathe and run for 6 miles

seriously.. why didn't anyone tell me it was a RUN!?

the race began. uphill. with mud.

my feetsies were slippin everywhere
i cannot even tell you how i even made it 6 miles

there were tires on the ground, a swampy lake, haystacks, mud hills, muddy crawl tubes, rope tower, muddy water slide so on and so forth

for six miles i dashed.
i dashed it out with my friend who even had a sprained ankle! (she killed me on the "running" part... correction:  the whole dash)

BUT my concubine feet never let me down.

that is how i came as a piggy and left as a beast!